29 September 2014

Mum stuff : Halfway

So the baby monkey is halfway brewed. Crikey. Now that the horrendous morning sickness has gone I am sometimes mildly surprised when I remember I'm pregnant, despite having seen clear (and amazing) evidence at my scan last week. There's not much of a bump to speak of; I like to think there was plenty of existing bump for the baby to use up before expanding outwards, lovingly crafted through a couple of months of the Crisp and Millionaire's Shortbread Diet. So we'll keep it brief and go straight for a nice positive list today...

Five exciting things about having another baby:

1 - I can talk to a small child of mine without it being punctuated with a stream of loud 'NO!'s and a hand held up in my face in the manner of an overly aggressive traffic policeman stopping cars

2 - I can change a nappy without having to chase a small child around the sofa three times and then be screamed at for the injustice and indignity of said nappy change at a decibel which could break windows

3 - I might manage it this time without constant, debilitating fear of cocking it all up (this time I am pretty confident I will cock it up but it will probably all be OK anyway)

4 - I might get cuddles that don't result in injury (I've never been in a physical fight but the closest has been being- accidentally, I should say-  headbutted in the nose twice in the last fortnight)

5 - I can sit on the sofa for hours at a time whilst feeding (the baby, and yes, OK, me) with no guilt whatsoever.

And I've just realised that I've included nappy changing in a list of exciting things about having another baby. Clearly gonna laugh at that one in months to come.

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