So the baby monkey is halfway brewed. Crikey. Now that the horrendous morning sickness has gone I am sometimes mildly surprised when I remember I'm pregnant, despite having seen clear (and amazing) evidence at my scan last week. There's not much of a bump to speak of; I like to think there was plenty of existing bump for the baby to use up before expanding outwards, lovingly crafted through a couple of months of the Crisp and Millionaire's Shortbread Diet. So we'll keep it brief and go straight for a nice positive list today...
Five exciting things about having another baby:
1 - I can talk to a small child of mine without it being punctuated with a stream of loud 'NO!'s and a hand held up in my face in the manner of an overly aggressive traffic policeman stopping cars
2 - I can change a nappy without having to chase a small child around the sofa three times and then be screamed at for the injustice and indignity of said nappy change at a decibel which could break windows
3 - I might manage it this time without constant, debilitating fear of cocking it all up (this time I am pretty confident I will cock it up but it will probably all be OK anyway)
4 - I might get cuddles that don't result in injury (I've never been in a physical fight but the closest has been being- accidentally, I should say- headbutted in the nose twice in the last fortnight)
5 - I can sit on the sofa for hours at a time whilst feeding (the baby, and yes, OK, me) with no guilt whatsoever.
And I've just realised that I've included nappy changing in a list of exciting things about having another baby. Clearly gonna laugh at that one in months to come.